Reality Check

This blog was written while my husband and I were in Branson, Missouri recently celebrating our anniversary. There are lots of really good restaurants, a wide variety of shows to choose from and, of course, there’s the outlet malls for shopping. So, I decided to look for a new dress. BIG MISTAKE. Tried on several really cute dresses but nothing looked right. I thought they all made me look fat. My husband’s comment was, “It didn’t look bad.” Translation: “Yes, you do look a little chubby in that dress but I don’t know how to tell you that!”

 By the time I got to the condo I was not in a good mood. I was unhappy with how I looked. I wanted to look slimmer but I didn’t really want to do anything different…like exercise more or go on a diet! I knew I had gotten some of that belly-fat women get as they get “older” but I really didn’t like that fact either. So I went to bed annoyed with myself and in a bad mood.

When I woke up the next morning, I did a little soul searching about what my choices were. The night before I could only think of two choices:

• I could go on a serious diet and ramp up my exercises.

OR

• I could just accept that I was in fact getting older and belly fat was just a fact of life.

OK I didn’t like either one of those options and that was what had left me in a funk the night before. So, I decided there actually was a third option. One that would allow me to face reality but at the same time allow me to take some reasonable action. Here is that third option:

• Yes, I do have to accept the fact that as I’ve gotten older my body has changed in some ways that I don’t particularly like. I can’t do anything about that. However, I can continue to do the exercises that I started in January but be more consistent about it. As for that “dieting thing” I know I’m not likely to stay on a rigid diet. I don’t want to give up pasta, cheese and crackers and chips. But I can reduce their frequency and eat more protein and healthy snacks so that I can feel good about what I’m eating and not feel guilty when I order something that I really like. It’s about moderation.

So why did I slip this blog into a blog about being a wise woman? Well, as I was thinking this through that morning, I realized there was a life lesson here that was really all about wisdom.

1. When we are confronted with a reality that we don’t like, it often throws us into a “funk” and we hold our own private little pitty-party.
2. While the pitty-party may be understandable, we can’t let ourselves stay there. We need to take a look at the reality of the situation and the reality of our emotions. Our emotions aren’t bad. They’re actually trying to tell us something is amiss and we need to take care of it. They’re only harmful if we stay stuck in them.
3. Then we choose a path that addresses the reality of the situation in a way that is positive and achievable. We look at the situation and decide what parts of it are things we can do something about and which parts we just need to accept.

That’s what wise women do. Whether it’s a personal issue or a social wrong we are upset about. Wise women don’t stay stuck…they take action.

“Oh and yes, I apologized to my husband the next morning for allowing the shopping fiasco to put me in a bad mood!”