Author: Barb- The sometimes Wise Woman

I met Emma Lazarus for the first time in NYC a few weeks ago while visiting there  with my daughter, Lisa. She had never been to New York so, of course, we did all the expected tourist activities, which included the ferry ride out to the Statue of Liberty. It’s amazing what you can learn when you take the time to walk through the museum located in the base of the Statue and find out how it all came to be.

Most of us know that the Statue was a gift from France to honor the US on our 100th year celebration. We know she stands in the New York Harbor and holds up a torch intended to welcome immigrants. And, we also know that there is a saying some place on the statue that says “…give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses…” But, that’s about it.

One of the things we learned that day was that after the statue was delivered to the US it stayed in crates for almost two years because New York didn’t have enough money to build a platform big enough and strong enough to hold up a statue as large as this one.

Fund raising wasn’t going well until Joseph Pulitzer, publisher of The New York World newspaper, raised more than $100,000 by asking everyone in the country to contribute something, even if it was only a penny. He promised that he would publish the names of everyone who contributed, regardless of the amount,in his newspaper. And, he did!

As part of another fund raising effort, a poem was commissioned to be written about the statue. This is where Emma Lazarus comes in. She was a young Jewish poet, who was very popular during the late 1800’s. Her poem, titled “The New Colossus” was used to help fund the building of the platform. She wrote that poem in 1883 but it wasn’t until 1903 that the poem was engraved on a bronze plaque and placed on the base of the Statue.

Emma was well respected by contemporary poets, such as Ralph Waldo Emerson and Robert Browning. As I stood there reading the plaque about Emma Lazarus I knew she would be one of the women I wanted to include in one of my blogs. I knew Emma was a  wise and influential woman because instead of asking one of these more famous men to write a poem, they asked Emma.

It is also interesting to note that Emma’s parents had immigrated to the United States to escape the persecution of Jews in Russia  Emma’s parents were very wealthy and chose to educate their daughter at home. Emma started writing poetry at a very young age. After high school she had a strong desire to go back to Europe and learn  more about her Jewish roots and spent several years there writing about her experiences.

Emma died at the age of 37 in 1887. Since the poem wasn’t placed on the statue until 1903 she never knew how significant this poem would become. There is so much more to this poem than just that one famous lines. It deserves reading, so I’m including it in its entirety here. Partly because I think we will benefit from reading the whole piece and partly as a tribute to Emma Lazarus who died all too soon and has mostly been forgotten as the author of the poem on the Statue of Liberty.

THE NEW COLOSSUS by Emma Lazarus is located on a separate page under the poem’s title.

This blog was written while my husband and I were in Branson, Missouri recently celebrating our anniversary. There are lots of really good restaurants, a wide variety of shows to choose from and, of course, there’s the outlet malls for shopping. So, I decided to look for a new dress. BIG MISTAKE. Tried on several really cute dresses but nothing looked right. I thought they all made me look fat. My husband’s comment was, “It didn’t look bad.” Translation: “Yes, you do look a little chubby in that dress but I don’t know how to tell you that!”

 By the time I got to the condo I was not in a good mood. I was unhappy with how I looked. I wanted to look slimmer but I didn’t really want to do anything different…like exercise more or go on a diet! I knew I had gotten some of that belly-fat women get as they get “older” but I really didn’t like that fact either. So I went to bed annoyed with myself and in a bad mood.

When I woke up the next morning, I did a little soul searching about what my choices were. The night before I could only think of two choices:

• I could go on a serious diet and ramp up my exercises.

OR

• I could just accept that I was in fact getting older and belly fat was just a fact of life.

OK I didn’t like either one of those options and that was what had left me in a funk the night before. So, I decided there actually was a third option. One that would allow me to face reality but at the same time allow me to take some reasonable action. Here is that third option:

• Yes, I do have to accept the fact that as I’ve gotten older my body has changed in some ways that I don’t particularly like. I can’t do anything about that. However, I can continue to do the exercises that I started in January but be more consistent about it. As for that “dieting thing” I know I’m not likely to stay on a rigid diet. I don’t want to give up pasta, cheese and crackers and chips. But I can reduce their frequency and eat more protein and healthy snacks so that I can feel good about what I’m eating and not feel guilty when I order something that I really like. It’s about moderation.

So why did I slip this blog into a blog about being a wise woman? Well, as I was thinking this through that morning, I realized there was a life lesson here that was really all about wisdom.

1. When we are confronted with a reality that we don’t like, it often throws us into a “funk” and we hold our own private little pitty-party.
2. While the pitty-party may be understandable, we can’t let ourselves stay there. We need to take a look at the reality of the situation and the reality of our emotions. Our emotions aren’t bad. They’re actually trying to tell us something is amiss and we need to take care of it. They’re only harmful if we stay stuck in them.
3. Then we choose a path that addresses the reality of the situation in a way that is positive and achievable. We look at the situation and decide what parts of it are things we can do something about and which parts we just need to accept.

That’s what wise women do. Whether it’s a personal issue or a social wrong we are upset about. Wise women don’t stay stuck…they take action.

“Oh and yes, I apologized to my husband the next morning for allowing the shopping fiasco to put me in a bad mood!”

What were your first thoughts when you saw the word impulse? Did you wonder how impulse was connected to wisdom? That was my first response when I was considering this title. How about your response to the word “inspiration?” Can you see a connection between inspiration and wisdom? My guess is that you can make that connection easier than you can between impulse and wisdom.

Why do you think that is? Well, if you look up “impulse” you’ll find that inspiration is a synonym for it. But the word “impulse” is usually used in a negative sense. When we say someone is impulsive, we typically mean that they act without thinking or planning. They haven’t considered the ramifications of their actions, which often result in something less than positive.

Inspiration on the other hand implies a positive idea. We believe it to be an idea that has come from somewhere deep inside of us. Something that reflects a passion we have or something we believe has been “divinely” initiated. Therefore, it’s easy for us to expect inspiration to be a part of wisdom while impulse probably isn’t.

However, I think that’s a mistake!

I suggest that both words are very much a part of wisdom!

Inspiration is often the source of great ideas and visions for a better future in some significant way. Impulse is the nudge that says, “Take action and do it now!” If all you do is have an idea and you never act on it, nothing happens. Nobody benefits. Nothing is changed or improved. And, sometimes, things even get worse.

Think for a moment about Rosa Parks who had the urge to sit down on a seat in the front of the bus in Montgomery, Alabama. She sat down because she was tired: tired after a full day of work and tired of having to walk past empty seats in the front of the bus. She wasn’t intending to ignite a fire under the Civil Rights issue but she did. She simply followed an impulse that started a chain of events that changed American history.

It got her arrested but it was the right thing to do…and it happened because she responded to an impulse. Acting on an impulse can get you in trouble but more often NOT acting on our impulses keeps us from dong something good that could at least have had a positive impact on someone else or perhaps kept you from positively influencing the world.

• Impulses create an opportunity for action and wisdom tells us when an impulse might get us in trouble.
• Impulses that are ignored are often lost opportunities because we let our fears of the unknown make us hesitate and turn away.
• Impulses sometimes appear to have negative consequence but those consequences may be worth it.
• Wisdom can help us recognize this.

Rosa Parks knew she could be arrested by refusing to change seats but she decided to stick with her impulse and ride it out.

Aren’t we glad she did’!

In the last post I talked about sources of wisdom and quoted Proverbs 2:2. Today I want to look at another verse: Proverb 31:25

“She is clothed with strength and dignity, she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.”

There’s a lot we can learn from that description. First, the word “clothed,” in Old Testament Hebrew was the word, labash, meaning “to put on.” To put something on implies “intentionality. It wasn’t accidental. So, we could say, “she intentionally puts on strength and dignity.” Or, to say it another way, she chooses to be strong and to behave with dignity.

“Strength” from the Old Testament word “azaz” means to prevail. “Prevail” implies a struggle and boldness. And boldness requires conviction. This woman knows what she values and intentionally faces challenges with boldness because of the strength of conviction in what she values.

Dignity comes from the word “hadar” which means honored or splendor. A wise woman puts on dignity by choosing actions and words that are just, honest and purposeful. She expresses opinions and ideas with clarity and thoughtfulness without maliciousness or hatefulness.

Oh, and don’t forget about laughter. True wisdom also has the ability to find humor in difficult situations and can laugh at the problem and at herself in the middle of what may seem to be an insurmountable task.

Today we talked about the intentionality of wise behavior. In yesterday’s blog we looked at how our experiences provide opportunities for the growth of wisdom. The children showed us three ways to respond to an experience: we can learn to follow rules that are in our best interest; we can learn what the rules are about and be creative in how we follow those rules; or we can not learn anything from the experience and continue to make the same mistakes.

(So, for those of you who are wondering about yesterday’s question about which child’s response was a sign of wisdom..perhaps all three are. Definitely two of the choices showed wisdom but the one who did what he had been told not to do may be in the process of gaining wisdom. It’s just going to take a little longer as he weighs the consequences of disobedience against the reward of doing what he wants to do.)

Before I wrap up today’s blog I want to suggest that passion is also one of the qualities of wisdom. It’s my opinion, that a truly wise woman is a woman of passion. I believe she feels things deeply and responds to those things for which she has passion with her actions and words.

A wise woman, who believes strongly in something, would not keep quiet or refuse to take action when confronted with something that needed her counsel or her commitment. A wise woman would recognize when she needs to speak up and provide leadership.

A wise woman would recognize that an issue or problem needs attention.

  A wise woman would not ignore a cause she had strong convictions about.

A wise woman would listen to her convictions and respond accordingly.

A wise woman would confront the problem and as a result become a…

Force of Influence

 And that’s what this is all about!

Wisdom comes from a variety of places and since I would describe my self as a woman of faith, I’m going to look to the Bible as the starting point for finding wisdom.

Proverbs 2:6 says, “For the Lord gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding.”

The Book of Proverbs has much more to say about wisdom but for the purpose of this blog I’m going to focus on this one verse. What this verse is saying is that when a woman or a man truly seek God, to know Him and understand who He is, they will gain wisdom from their knowledge of God. For me, I believe that is the starting point of gaining wisdom.

But wisdom isn’t something finite and contained, and The Book of Proverbs would support that. Wisdom is infinite and dynamic and is gradually acquired over time. This means that wisdom is acquired through experience. Our experiences provide the opportunities to gain wisdom. But don’t’ be fooled into thinking that experience automatically gives wisdom. It doesn’t. Reflection, discernment and insight are also required in order for experience to result in wisdom.

For example, it’s the morning after a big rain and three small children are outside playing. After a few minutes, they see puddles on the sidewalk and, of course, all three run directly toward the puddles and jump in, shoes, socks and all. Soon the mom’s appear and all three children are scolded for jumping in the water and getting their clothes wet. Both are brought inside to change clothes and put in “time-out.”

Later that day, the kids are back outside with a reminder from their mothers “not to jump in the puddle and get their clothes wet.” But, as they are playing they keep looking over at the puddles and soon one of them runs over and jumps into the puddle, just like s/he did that morning. The second child runs toward the puddle, but before jumping in takes off shoes, socks, and jeans and then jumps in. The third child stares at the other two looking perplexed, then turns and runs toward the house yelling, “Mom. Mom”

Each child had the same experience of playing in the puddle and each was brought inside by his or her mom, scolded and put in time out. But when they came back out they each made a different choice. Did they all learn something through the experience? Sure. Was there any wisdom acquired through that experience? It would appear the first child didn’t learn much because s/he chose to ignore his mom’s command. The second child seemed to have figured out a way to mind his mother while at the same time still enjoying the puddle. And the third child looks like minding mom was his ultimate goal.

As you look at these three children their responses to an experience aren’t that different from ours as adults. Sometimes, we know what the expectations are or the advice is that we have been given, and we choose to ignore it. Other times we listen to the advice and we adjust our behavior or thoughts in order to respond positively to that advice. And, then there are times when we hear good advice or see how other people have changed or stopped doing something, but we don’t “exactly” follow that advice. We find a way to modify our thinking or behavior and make what might have been a poor choice into a good one…or at least one we think we can get away with.

Which of these options are wise? That’s the question isn’t it and my answer is, “It depends.” (Don’t you hate that?) I know. I always hate that answer, too. But, this is only part one of this discussion so come back tomorrow for the “rest of the story.”